Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Booked-out

My exams are over.
But I can't borrow ANY of the books I wanted to borrow for this holidays.

They're ALL booked. :(
All the multiple copies of the popular books are all booked.
All.
ALLLLLL.

I shall stop here.
I think I'll have to go to the Popular book store and camp there if I wanna read those books.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

There

I just realized I wasn't there.

I'm such an idiot.

I've been listening to Princess Mononoke

Did I tell you before? Joe Hisaishi rocks.



I normally listened to Spirited Away. But now I'm addicted to this.

It's like taking a trip through a very satisfying story, though I must say that the conflict part evokes a lot of anxiety and slight breathlessness, which is especially acute now that I've 4 exams in the next 5 days.

Thankfully, the ending is very soothing and peaceful. And hence my exam anxiety disappears at the end of the song, because I know everything's gonna be fine regardless of what I think/feel/do now. Then again, I still gotta carry out my role.

When I say, “I am a Christian”

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
I’m whispering, “I get lost!
That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak with human pride
I’m confessing that I stumble -
needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong
I’m professing that I’m weak
and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success
I’m admitting that I’ve failed
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I don’t think I know it all
I submit to my confusion
asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible
but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache
which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority
I only know I’m loved

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer

Forgotten Cambodia

There has been a huge influx of bad news.

1. The New York Times, ChannelNewsAsia, the New Straits Times, and the Straits Times all raised the Korean crisis.

2. Three of these newspapers (The first two and the fourth) also mentioned the NZ mine blast that killed 29.

3. But only one (Straits Times) mentioned the horrifying stampede in Cambodia that killed 350+ people.

I understand that 1 is of utmost importance.
But after that I thought 3 had more importance than 2.

I remember a few New Year's Day celebrations. I remember going for New Year's Day in S'pore - the first time with relatives, the second time with good friends. I remember walking along the bridge - the one near the esplanade, the one where you can see the fireworks. The crowd slowly built up as 12am neared. People were everywhere around me. My friends and I were somewhere in the middle of the bridge. We couldn't see the end of the bridge. Then the fireworks started, then ended. Then the crowd subsided slowly as everyone left in a rather organized manner to the train stations/carparks to leave.

But in Cambodia, as they celebrated the water festival yesterday, it wasn't as peaceful or safe, or happy. The crowd built up to cross the river to get to the island where the main events were held. This crowd built up until everyone was like a huge hamburger that stuck very well together. And then suddenly everyone started pushing so hard, it was difficult to breathe. And people fell down, and people shoved and stepped on people. It was so bad that people at the edge of the bridge jumped off. People in the middle aren't as fortunate.

The result, 450 people dead, and this does not appear on the website frontpages of 3 of the major newspapers mentioned earlier. I was pretty shocked that such an incident happened. I was first hinted about it through someone's Facebook update. Then I checked the news - nothing and i wondered what they were talking about. Then I saw the news on the Straits Times paper the next day. Then I checked the news online again, still nothing there. I don't understand why it's not there.

I also don't understand how such a tragedy could have happened yesterday. It's said that a rumour on the overcrowded bridge caused mass panic that triggered the stampede that caused this.

I hope Malaysia, despite our lack of compliance with rules, would never experience such a thing. Heck, I hope this doesn't happen anywhere again. It's like the mass murders I read about in my Southeast Asia module readings (which btw, I was surprised to find out to have happened).



And remember to always calm down yourself and others when there's a panic.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Lee Kuan Yew

I wanna read Lee Kuan Yew material!
After exams, see howw..

Some quotes

Some excerpts

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Behavior

Did the mind catch up with the body in growing up?
Don't be fooled by how you look.

--

What we should do isn't necessarily what we want to do.
What we finally want to do is what we should do.

--

Think long term vs. short term.

We begin and journey with the end in mind.

---

A friend once called me irresponsible.
I waved/laughed it off.
After all, I 'couldn't' change that bad habit.

But it hurt sharply.
Because it was so true.
And the latter part, false.

Irresponsibility and immaturity are highly correlated.

--

I just realized i used the word "angsty" inappropriately too many times.
Last year I was filled with angst.
Now it has diminished, thank goodness.

---

Now, I shall convert my wrath into positive energy by studying v

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Quote - Time

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.


On the concept of eternity: It is not forever. It is not an extremely long time. It is timeless. It works outside time, like how Heaven is.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Finance fail

Screwed up big time in the final exam.

What's with me and finance. I seem to like it a little more than econs modules sometimes. Yet I seem to perform terrible in the exams. My class performance was good so far although my concept understanding has shown to be often just 'kinda there', and not solid.

OK. Sunk cost.
Time to save the other modules.

Why do I wanna get good grades again?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Like Joe Hisaishi

Is Ryuichi Sokomoto Sakamoto

Now they're going to accompany me as I do my summary and essay plan and essay.

Here's my favourite of Ryuichi Sokomoto's.


The essence of it strongly resembles Joe Hisaishi's music.
There's something about this type of music that I find very appealing.

But I know one of things I like is that it's free of distractions/noise, unlike quite a lot of pop music these days, that use a lot of extra sounds to 'enrich' their music. - OK fine, maybe they're not noise - I just don't know how to appreciate them.

OK. NOW I'LL DO MY 35% of FINAL GRADE HOMEWORK!

Ironies 1-2

1.
There are Facebook friends I don't really know and sometimes hoped would delete me off their friends' list so that my friend list is less populated.
There are people I talked to quite a bit who I wanna keep linked in Facebook who surprisingly deleted me off their friend list, or deactivated their account - but more likely the former.

2.
Although this is a public blog, I kind of don't want most people to know about this place.
Because I think I didn't censor myself enough in some of the old blog posts.
I prefer to just let strangers stumble by, especially when they look for a specific peribahasa and end up seeing my blog post about my very lovable dog. Haha.

I was supposed to do my essay summary since 10am. Now it's 11.45 and I've only done 1 page. 16 pages to go. Ok. Bye!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's OK. It's Chinese.

This post is unrelated to Chinese low-quality/ciplak stuff. It's related to the Chinese people.

During my clumsier days (I'd like to believe I'm more careful now.)
when my phone is dropped from a significant height / get knocked real hard,
no, I don't say OMG.
I say "It's OK. It's Nokia."

See video:



They may truly dominate the world economy with not only their human capital of intellectual capability, but also their physical resilience.




..
And I thought the video was a horror video when I first watched it.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Hypocrisy

I think we all tend to find others hypocritical sometimes.

But aren't we ourselves hypocritical sometimes too?
When we're not accountable to ourselves?

I think it's pretty understandable why it happens. Sometimes we don't realize how hypocritical we are.. until, OMG I was sooo hypocritical? I said we should blah-blah-blah and avoid la-la-la. And then I didn't do blah-blah-blah but ended up doing la-la-la?

I think 'hypocritical people' including myself, don't mean to be so when we are so.

We're all human, prone to make mistakes.
Sometimes we have the magnifying glass that allows us to see and act rightly.
Sometimes we forget to put that on, and under some circumstances, what's right was not seen.

So just forgive lah.
It's neh-mind lah.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Random thought of the day

Even if permitted to, do not borrow clothes that are of a brand you've never heard before.

That unknown brand just might be in a different class, so expensive that you are not even aware of its existence.
It might be a bit uncomfortable if you've projected yourself as not very rich but suddenly appear in that range of clothing.

Lesson learned: do not borrow without previous owner's direct permission/comments; unless you're an expert in all those high-end clothes.

It's better to just wear that less flattering t-shirt that you stupidly chose to bring.
It avoids the risk of accidentally giving false impressions.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Julie and Julia

As always, when stressed and extra busy, do the things you're normally too busy to do.

So I watched Julie and Julia recently. It's a warm and cute movie. It's about Julia who was in Paris and learned to cook French food and was writing her (apparently) popular cookbook. And it concurrently showed how Julie lived day by day as she attempted the challenge of cooking Julia's 524 recipes in a year.

I like the cute story. And I like how the food looks good. And I like Meryl Streep's acting too. Haha.

Julie & Julia Trailer:


And here is a link to Jessica, who's imittating Julie Powell.
http://www.ayearwithjulia.com/

I don't think I'm going to ever attempt this.

It'll be wonderful if I can get myself to cook normal home food for even one short week.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Why Facebook might last

It is better for keeping contact in the long-run
People change mobile phone, home address, workplace, email, etc all the time.
But not Facebook.

You don't need to get a 'New profile/name' whenever you change address. (unlike phone numbers)
Your profile won't be deleted because you didn't log in for a long time. (unlike emails, and prepaid phone numbers)
It's the best place to share photos and get tagged.
It's so big and established. And people get stuck to this networking site, in the same way we were once stuck to our once-unspeakably-childish-emails for a long time before we got a new account. (and we don't need to get a new account to change our name)

And so far, nobody has forgotten their password eh?

Oh shit.

Shit #1:

When one regards another as a close/pretty-good friend, and the other doesn't.

And I didn't see this friend off.
Or ask if this friend was leaving.

Sorry.

To make up for it, I shall try to give a warm welcome back.

Shit #2:

Time management!
Avalanche of assignments due and revision and exams! :S

Shit #3:

Shits than can't be said. :(

Shit #4:

The one and only foul word (besides stupid) that I use quite too often is shit. I have to start reducing it. It sounds so shitty. (Working on it after this post)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Hate cigarette smoke

why do people like to slowly kill people?

cuz the killing isn't right in front of the perpetrators.
it isn't 'real'.

"Present Failure, Future Joy"

Hi. I haven't visited this place for a long time. It's partly because I noticed that I usually felt like writing down reflections only when things aren't right. So to balance this and to change the perspective, I shall try to archive more happy stuff here.

So, recently, my senior posted a link to her friend's post. Some parts of it resonated with me, it's like a recurring (or constant?) struggle.

In this post, there's a lot of references to various short sections of the scriptures, which does not say much about their appropriateness and depth in relation to the topic. Nonetheless, it shows some consistency in God's message, which I hope will be encouragement to you who are reading this.

Present Failure, Future Joy

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Rev. 21:3-4

For us as Christians, as God’s child made alive by the Holy Spirit, one of the main robbers of our joy is sin. Sin comes, tempts us with promises of fleeting pleasure (Heb. 11:25), and we give in, some times without a fight. We fail, and guilt grips us.

Maybe for some of us, we have failed so many times, and we look at our disgusting, weak self, and we can’t help but feel like such a failure. Our struggle against sin is just so difficult, and we cannot foresee a day where we will be free from sin.

Is there a hope for us this day? Is there something we can cling on to to give us hope in light of our sometimes depressing and disappointing struggles?

I believe for one, we can find comfort that at that point, we can run to Jesus and He will not turn us away; a broken and contrite heart, one that is broken by its realisation of sin and repentant before God, He will not turn away (Ps. 51:17). Jesus is our Saviour and He will save us from our sins (Matt. 1:21). Jesus did not just make a way possible for us to go to God, Jesus actually saves us from our sin! Call to Him!

But more than that, there will come a day where we will no longer struggle with our sinfulness. There will come a day where we will no longer be hindered and dragged away by sin. There will come a day where we will enjoy unhindered fellowship with our blessed God forever and ever, and nothing will keep us from that.

When the Kingdom of God comes in its fullness, and God brings a close to time and history, we will be with God forever. No longer will sin hinder us from enjoyment of God, and experiencing the fullness of joy and everlasting pleasure in His presence (Ps. 16:11).

Do not be discouraged, my brothers and sisters, in light of your difficult struggle with sin. God is with you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5). Right there in your deepest, darkest, ugliest struggle, God is still there, and He’s not going to leave you. Look to the joy that is set before you and keep perserving, my beloved! “The Lord will… bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” (2 Tim. 4:18)

be blessed.



On another thought, this post is entirely exhortative (menyeru sahaja); there is not enough exposition on the passages itself. Exposition, i.e. explanation on the bible passages that brings the stories in it more alive and vivid (such that we can imagine and feel the significance of the contents) is lacking.

I am very convinced of exposition's significance when I listened to the stories as per told by Edmund Chan. I mean, it's easy to listen to advice and encouragement and agree. But it's not easy to be moved, and changed or to fully appreciate the extent of its significance without listening to the whole story.

This is one of the reasons why people love storytellers. And movies. And this is why when we share an advice or a comforting thought, we often share a story too. Evidences are often more convincing than plain rational explanations and facts.

Nonetheless, shouldn't we examine the stories ourselves?

Ok. Bye half-written post. I g2g make myself sleepy.

Selamat Hari Raya!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Louis Armstrong, Music

I like this song!


I always thought that it was bear necessities. Hahaha.
At first, I thought his facial expression was strange as he sang. But after a while, I find his smile just amusing. He looks so eccentric and fascinating, making his music all the more entertaining



I googled him and then realized why his name seemed so familiar. Hahahaha.
I think I shall listen more to these types of old songs. Somewhat emo, but uplifting. I find many current songs, nice in a way, but rather depressing. I want more inspiring and happy songs eh! What happened to this generation?

Perhaps the songs shows the social progress. I think around 1968s, lots of countries were new/achieving independence/becoming a lot more prosperous/free. That's possibly why it's so happy.
The current 'happy' songs are not as inspiring as those old songs.
Even Disney's songs are not as good as the old, original ones of long ago...
:( Sighs.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

unfortunately, i don't post much here

compared to my other blog, because i'm pretty self-absorbed, insular.
it's funny how i type here before cutting and pasting the post into my other blog.
can't be too open with the public.
heh. i'm introvert.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Alpha (again)

In my macroeconomics test,

In the initial part of one 60% question, it was written : 'Alpha symbol' 'is element of symbol' (0,1).

Somehow, my brain processed it as {0,1}.

As a result of this brain disaster, a question that was supposed to take 45 minutes, was not even half-finished in 60 minutes.

I had to redo once when I realized that it's ROUND brackets, NOT CURLY brackets.
Then I had to redo another time when I realized that the way I manipulated the powers was wrong.

There goes 50% of my midterms.

There goes my A.

There goes my degree program.

---

The alpha symbol, in my head, will never again resonate with the word 'ultimate first',
but 'ultimate stupidity'.

Whenever I see alpha, I will remember how badly damaged my brain really is.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Be funny or they will kill you.

"If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you."

Hahahaha. I like this quote.

It's one thing to know the truth.

It's another thing to tell the person (yourself/other people) the truth.

And it's an entirely different thing to act on the truth.

--
That's one of the reasons why businesses want people who are good with people. People who can empathize and know how to say the right, persuasive, sometimes humorous words. People who can sort out the nuances in the situation.

Think:
that idiot who's just blind to how he hurt you and still think he's right.
the 'me' who's rather ashamed of myself sometimes
the inconvenient choices we had to make
the convenient, but not so good choices we make

We're human. So we've our strengths and weaknesses. It's not necessarily bad to be like this, but it's definitely good to improve for productivity's sake. The question is, at what cost? The cost of immense pain and loss of productivity that results from the brutally painful truth? Or at the cost of temporary pain from the seemingly-less-brutal truth?

Effectiveness and efficiency is important.

It's not just about career. It's also about moral/ethical/happiness growth too.

-------------

2nd random note:

It's better to express whatever we think, with good intentions shown, and be wrong, than to shut up and let the situation be as it is. It's sometimes rather uncool, but whatever. See situation lah, then decide the strategy.

Hmm. I remember when I stopped speaking out often. That's when, my interest in the subject cooled down.

Friday, February 19, 2010

How ethics is like Math


This is a blog comment I'm about to post on my philosophy module's blog. I have problems posting it now. But I'll post it later. The topic was 'How ethics isn't like Math'. Underlying Socrates's (we're doing Plato's books now) many questions, he seems to have a notion that there is a guideline to decide what we should do. I'll probably edit this over time to improve it. I like this topic, but I'm thinking about this excessively. So posting it up here will sort of achieve a closure to this train of thought. Haha. (:

--

To respond one by one to everyone’s sometimes similar contentions would be a very long read. So here’s an improved proposition for Plato that defends against some of the limits of Math suggested. Some parts still repeat, but in different ways. I really think ethics is a complicated Math problem, and the problem is not the limits of Math, but the limit of our ability to actually convert it into Math. We are in the process of figuring out f(x) as we debate on the limits of justice/family-piety/etc. But, we don't actually have the true f(x), and that’s why we rely on both our left and right brain.

There is an absolute truth, like the most accurate ethics math function f(x). Just as Math is a tool, ethics is a complicated math function, a tool that guides us to live fulfilling lives.

Math is multi-dimensional, it can process complex questions and give complex answers. Life is a math problem with (maybe) infinite variables. Think f(a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,…). It has many variables, many different weights, many different inter-linked functions for many different principles and context. It’s complicated. And the answer can be complex too. In a situation where a=2,b<20,qr>9, abs<-200, then the answer is to output x=900, y=232, z=90. The real thing is even more complex though, and the numbers can represent defined events. We figure out the formula in the same way we figure out how to solve any math problem, or how to build a building. When the building eventually collapses, when we become sad/depressed for too long, we know something’s wrong with our formula. And when the brain is able to find better answers, it liberates people, and makes people happy. (So people pursue the ‘truth’.)
[Issues addressed: Cataclysm of using numbers, what questions to ask, how we formulate f(x), how we know f(x) is right]

This f(x) can be broken down to something fundamental that we can all agree upon, like (as Hazel suggested) the fundamental concept of counting. Complicated math is hard to understand, and finding out f(x)exactly is harder than rocket science, but with experience and testing, we can estimate answers, and estimate what f(x) is. When our f(x) estimate is different from someone else’s, there is a contradiction, an inconsistency. So we argue to find out what went wrong. As we argue and compromise, hopefully we get closer to the truth. It is like taking multiple readings to get the true length the piece of a rope.
[Issues addressed: Inexistence of universal agreement, how we determine f(x), changing religions]

The heart, the gut feelings are affected by the brain which (subconsciously) controls hormones. The brain, our supercomputer that has an estimate of what f(x) is, based on programming by teachers like experience/family/friends/study, and is able to give a rough estimate (a range maybe?) of f(x) when it is an ethical question. The brain gives an exact answer for f(x) when it is asked a normal-math/plain-logic question.
[Issues addressed: ethics as an instinct as much as logic is, heart and soul vs. cold hard logic, how we get f(x)]

The math solution people (including ourselves) have might be far from the truth, due to corruption/spoiling of our supercomputers/lack of updates. It is not like simple logic, where we can understand the f(x) that we formulated. So sometimes, when we don’t understand how to solve it, we trust someone else to help us.
[Issues addressed: People’s role, why people act unethically/badly]

Let's assume that at the action borderline, let’s say, f(x)=0, it doesn’t matter what we do really. When we obviously know what to do, it’s like when f(1000)=100000 > 0. If split between two actions, maybe f(x) <> 0 means we should do action B. When the estimate of f(x) is somewhere at the border line, we become confused/sometimes make less than good decisions. (But it is okay, we can forgive ourselves because we did not really know. We can live with estimates.)
[Issues addressed: why people act unethically/badly, ethical dilemmas]

More limitations can come up, but I think there is always a mathematical way of looking at it.

As a Christian, how do you deal with non-Christian death?

This guy stringed words together quite well.


Eulogy for a Non-Christian Friend


Denver wrote: "Gregory, at the funeral that you mentioned, did you express your universalist perspective when you gave the eulogy? If not, how did it affect your words? If so, what did you say? And, if you did, was that a surprise to your friend's family?"

Here is an edited version of what I said (with the personal stories and comments removed). I have changed my friend's name to 'Alan'.

This was a very personal eulogy and was not written for public consumption, but I offer up parts of it here if it might be helpful to some people. I feel somewhat uncomfortable about doing so but it shows one way in which universalism can inform such situations. I think that it enabled me to offer real hope without compromising the gospel.

How can you sum up the life of a person? Of someone so unique and so special? The texture of a human life is too subtle – too complicated. Words fail us. Even to try and capture what Alan meant to my family is an impossible task. So many memories, ... so many thoughts. We can feel paralysed. But speak we must. So I offer just a few reflections from my family in honour of Alan ...

[the main body of the eulogy was here]

Finally, I would like to offer two brief reflections speaking as a Christian. The first is that I have no idea why God would allow Alan to suffer as much as he did. For all the world, it looks cruel and pointless and I offer no excuses for God. The Bible is full of complaints and accusations against God and I simply wanted to say that blaming God is a biblical thing to do. One day we will understand God’s reasons for allowing this but for now, if we feel angry with God, that’s OK.

The second springs from the fact that for Christians this week is Holy Week. This week Christians celebrate a God who did not stand aloof from our suffering and pain but who became a human being – the man Jesus. And on the cross this human person – this God –entered into our experiences of suffering and death … and then he was resurrected.

In the story of Jesus Christians see the human story, our stories, writ small – death then resurrection. Darkness then light. Grief then joy. The resurrection means that that death is not the end of a story but a chapter in it. And all Christian hope in the face of death is based on Jesus’ resurrection. The God of the cross and resurrection is the one who will not let death have the last word; who will not allow it to separate people from him.

So I believe that this is not the end of Alan’s story. Alan was not a Christian himself – not yet anyway – but Jesus said that God is a shepherd who keeps on looking for his sheep ‘until he finds it’. And I believe that he will find Alan and that Alan’s future is one of resurrection and eternal life in a relationship with God.

I believe that Alan will be whole again and that God will bring to perfection all those distinctive character traits that are so distinctively him.

So Alan. There is a hole in the world without you. An Alan-shaped hole that can never be filled by anything else, because nothing else could be like you. There is an empty space now that feels like it should not be there. One day, friend, one day it will be filled again. Don’t think you’ve seen the last of us. And the next time we meet it will be in far better circumstances – ‘a new dawn, a new day’ (Nina Simone). But for now – ‘cheers’, ‘thanks’, and ‘goodbye’ . . . until next time.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Friendship Poem

I stumbled upon this today...

--

You Say You Want to Be Just Friends


You say you want to be just friends,
But do you mean goodbye?
Is that the easy way to end
The wish without the why?

You owe me nothing, as I owe
You equally, and yet
There's something in the undertow
I cannot just forget.

There's something lovely like a song
That's waiting to be heard,
Or like the feelings that belong
To some unspoken word.

And so with you I cannot simply
Smile and stay aloof.
I take the risk of asking frankly
For the untold truth.



---

Reminds me of the sweet, sometimes unappreciated poems that we used to write in autograph books when we were younger. My autograph book is still missing. It was last with, I can't remember her name anymore. I just hope she doesn't throw it away, so that one day, we might actually meet again, and then I might be able to reclaim my old autograph book.

CNY this year was good. I saw some interesting faces, including the Greek boyfriend of a cousin, and a long-lost cousin whom I last met years ago. And the atmosphere was good generally.

Hmmm. Although my family ties are still ok, friends have been becoming more and more distant. It's largely my own fault. I'm not one who makes a lot of time for friends, or people in general. This is because there're so many things that demand time, and there's also the fact that I have a very long 'warm-up' period. I wonder if it was ever shortened.

Anyway, I think it's important that we're good to ourselves before we can be truly good to others. To me, to be good to ourselves is to be able to keep ourselves through achievement of important goals while appreciating the journey, which is what makes life life. That means we have to prioritize, and balance living in the now and preparing for the long-term.

(But of course, this priority ladder is different from people to people. Or sometimes, it's so vague that we end up regretting our prior decisions, or sometimes we regret difficult choices when we need not, especially when there was already a 'sunk cost'.)

Haha. This style of self-talk, was influenced by the fable "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" which my sister borrowed from her library, which I read over CNY because it was the only short storybook available to me. The book's good, its presentation is better than many other self-help books, which I guess, explains why it was a bestseller for quite many weeks.

Hmm. I think my grammar in speech is becoming really bad, maybe because I have not been talkative enough nor book-reading enough for quite a long while. Nonetheless, I enjoy conjuring new words or new phrases everyday, just as much as a lot of manglish/singlish users. (:

Haha. I just found my old stash of poems that I long ago immortalized on Angelfire, which was one of the few free website providers then. Back then, I still used my old email (which by the way, isn't supposed to sound narcissistic, but to sound like joys forever). I remember especially liking the Friends 2 poem.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

2nd

from behind.


:(

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

I'm an authentic queen


My brain is working at an awesomely sl-o-w speed, that even snails will sigh at me.


If they don't sigh, they complain.

Observations
1. I can't absorb during lectures, I have to read my notes/readings after lectures to understand, and I take a long time at that.
2. I take super long to complete my tutorials.
3. I'm like a small kid who needs extremely specific instructions during a basketball game, defense and offense tactics aren't instinctive to me. Too many moving people = too many volatile variables => makes me confused. Keeping too many changing variables in mind is also not my thing. Spontaneity oh spontaneity.
4. In debate, I seem to take +3 seconds to think compared to everyone else.
5. I remember how even in organ class, a long time ago, Ms Cheong said: "If other people take half a second to get it, Wei Yong will take 2 seconds to get it! If she takes 1 second, it's wonderful!"
6. In conversations, especially group conversations, I tend to wander off at a thought, and take too long to return to the dialogue, that I take 3 seconds to give .. no, not a proper response.. but a "Huh?".


Perhaps... no, definitely... this is why I'm the reigning "Blur Queen".


On a sidenote, I'm extremely happy that hall people haven't called me blur much.
YESSS! I have successfully kept my regal characteristics concealed.

On an endnote, 2nd sem does not look good.

Random articles

Hahaha : "If you are going to lower me into the grave, and I feel something is wrong, I will get up." - LKY

:( : "Dont come home, Son" - Icecream seller

Physics Q : If a plane crashes into a building, how would the building collapse?

Disadvantages of meritocracy : Disadvantages of an elite education (not that a non-elite education is great anyway, but this is worth reading)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

You know better than I (from "Joseph King of Dreams")

I like this old, often-repeated story and the music.
This song especially. Isn't it beautiful?

You might need speakers/headphones to hear the music clearly though.



Edit: This came in my mail on the next day (22 Jan) and it's related. It's from the Agape subscription.

Unfolding of a Rose………


A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day and feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was inquiring of the older preacher. The older preacher walked up to a rosebush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the WILL OF GOD for his life and for his ministry. Because of his high respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to TRY to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact... It wasn't long before he realized how impossible it was to do so.

Noticing the younger preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud while keeping it intact, the older preacher began to recite the following poem... It is only a tiny rosebud, A flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals, With these clumsy hands of mine. The secret of unfolding flowers, Is not known to such as I. GOD opens this flower so sweetly, When in my hands they fade and die. If I cannot unfold a rosebud, This flower of God's design, Then how can I think I have wisdom, To unfold this life of mine? So I'll trust in Him for His leading, Each moment of every day. I will look to Him for His guidance, Each step of the pilgrim way. The pathway that lies before me, Only my Heavenly Father knows. I'll trust Him to unfold the moments, Just as He unfolds the rose.