-_-

laziness






the stupidest excuse

Last-minuter

Hi blog.. Long time no seeeee.. I can't remember what I posted previously. But whateverlah.

Heh heh. I'm simply, a lazy person.

Got my college application results a few days ago.
They're mostly bad. I think my commonapp essay was terribly terrible.
But I've got a few waitlists. So I have a second chance perhaps.
Worst case scenario is I just go to NUS/NTU, which is still a good deal.

Nonetheless, I have to make my love letters as persuasive as possible - that the school just had to admit me. And there's 7 days to do that. I received quite some advice on these supplements. I think I first need to make my mind think that I can get into those universities. Right now, it still isn't in the right frame. How can I do a persuasive and effective essay with this kind of mind?

While browsing around facebook, for inspiration, I've watched some commencement addresses.
I like Obama's speech at Wesleyan last year. It's rather beyond-thyself kind, making-a-difference-bit-by-bit kind, and bracing-yourself for the future kind. I like. Perhaps I might re-listen/read as I make my appeal letters. I was going to watch Oprah's at Stanford. But internet connection's bad now, so I read it instead. More of life lessons. Hmm. I also like this, also at Wesleyan.
I often like commencement speeches. Because they're so hope-inspiring and arranged well.

Oh! I just submitted my USP application yesterday, at 4 minutes past midnight. I'm such a last-minuter. But hey, in the last hour, I was trying so sooo hard to upload my supporting documents. At about 11.55pm, I finally decided to mail them in instead. Then, I suddenly couldn't access their website. -_- I managed to click on 'submit' at 12.04am. Their system is soo annoying. But I hope they don't disqualify procrastinators from their programme. Hmm. It felt cathartic to finish and submit my essay on equality though. Finally, a reasonably organized essay on that topic. Attempts on this topic before this were too messy and unpresentable.

I hope that I've been teaching Science well. I'll know today as I mark my students' test papers. I hope that me-adapting-to-mixing-malay-in-my-teaching-a-lot-a-lot did not start too late. Four more weeks before I stop being their science teacher.


Now off to work on applications, love letters, teaching preps, and etc.

New Year in February

I'm a little bit 'slow'? Hahahha. I'm sure some of you guys are just waiting to tease me 'blur' or whatever. But yeah.

You know what? I often end up not doing things I wanted to do.
Usually it's because I'm not that prepared to do it.

I'm gonna start working on an updated version of 'things i wanna do' which I shan't post here. I'll only post after I do them. More incentive to really do them later, if/when I suddenly lose enthusiasm, instead of just feeling a great want to do it now.
I feel like todayy is a day to restart. I thought about a lot of things last night, and before I knew it, I laid on bed from 12-3am instead of starting to sleeping. I usually fall asleep by, latest, 1am. So it was funky.
I hope I will continue to sustain myself with this energy I feel today.

Weird. But heck lah.

Random

Today, I read these and liked them.

1. Learning Malaysian History: A Lopsided Formula
   http://educationmalaysia.blogspot.com/2009/01/learning-malaysian-history-lopsided.html
   
   
2. Sage Advice from a Dropout
   http://rantingsbymm.blogspot.com/2007/07/sage-advice-from-dropout.html

Thinking of another as arrogant, is arrogant?

To think of someone else as arrogant, is not to be arrogant oneself. It’s simply thinking badly of that person, like the way one would think badly of a less ethical person (who does not offer old woman his seat, who steals, etc).

I think that humility is about understanding that the way one person is, is due to the factors (parents, friends, surrounding environment, etc) that influence that person, and natural genetics that affects the way one thinks. And God is in control of most of the factors. So to think that one is better than another person when one cannot compare these factors - is arrogance. To think that we are all of equal despite the difference personalities and qualities(after all, we think, feel, and act the way we do due to the factors) - is humility.

Hence, while one thinks that a person is arrogant, think badly of the arrogant quality itself, not the worth of the person. In that sense, one shouldn’t be considered as arrogant.

(This was actually a response to someone's post about arrogance. I remember thinking a lot about this. That's why I put it up here.)

Ignorance, acceptance

Sometimes I wish I was, is, and always will be,
the most ignorant idiot in the world
Then I might be an absolutely happy fool
Then there's no need to mangle myself

But then, that's not human
Half ignorant, half aware
I learn, I realize, I grow
A little bit at a time

It creates mood waves
Love the peaks
Hate the dips

It makes life more interesting eh?
More miserable moments
More funky moments

Then, I give up
the steering wheel,
the burdens,
the judgments,
the thinking,
the everything to God,
the God who created me for His purpose.

Then it feels simpler, calmer and better
Then it all makes sense

And then there's joy.

--

Attempt to write some retarded poetry in the blog #1

New Weltanschauung!

I have a newww idea while I was thinking (or some of you prefer to call 'blur'-ing).
It's got something to do with glass and life.

I hope I will type it out. It will take long. After all, writing is not my thing.
It's got to do with different shapes and types of glass, different liquids being poured into it, and different sources of the liquid.

It's overwhelming.

Maybe I'm just being a nut-case after I finished my uni applications.

Speaking of that, I finished it at 12.00am Eastern Time, 3 January 2009!
AAAAH! I was supposed to submit my last one at 11.59pm Eastern Time, 2 January 2009, or before... But I delayed it. Because I had a new idea just an hour or so before the deadline. So I made a spanking new essay. Because i didn't like my previous one. Annndd, I actually could've made it, if the common app didn't report "Error: Mailing address field 1 is too long, please shorten it." STUPIDED commonapp. Now my entry will be stamped 3rd Jan!! That means, late.

It's destined. Looking at the time I spent on my essays, I probably won't get to the unis I hope to get into anyway. Dang.

Nvmd. Singapore's still good. But that means I have to hope I didn't screw up A'levels as badly as I think I did. (Computing and Econs worries me the most.)


So what I wanna do over the next few days:
1. Write a short fiction, or non-fiction book about the glass and life thingeny.
2. Find the old people's home in my area
3. Go to Tesco to apply for a job.
4. Look for a better job than at Tesco.
5. Get my P license from the driving centre.
6. Really improve on my driving skills, so that I myself (and mom) trust that I won't hit anything while driving, and I get to go to church on Sundays. In the past few weeks, by the way I drove, and some of the things I missed, I really could've gotten into plenty of accidents. Haha. God's really watching over me. Thank goodness.
7. Help my sis get Taekwondo club official-ised in school again.
8. Read the numerology book, a bit, though not that interested, i'm interested in knowing a bit.
9. Partner with my sis for Rick Warren book thingeny.
10. Really delve into the books I wanna read: the Bible (i keep getting bored/side-tracking), Desiring God by John Piper (I read a bit a bit, then reflect a lot and scrutinize a lot, and the next thing I know, I just woke up again.), reread the last part of the Chronicles of Narnia.
11. Settle some unfinished businesses from Singapore; notes, clearing up, stuff
12. This should be number 1 actually: Do all the things I want to do.

Tada.